Sunday, August 3, 2014

¿Quién es esta mujer al otro lado del espejo? Aceptar mis defectos fue el primer paso a fortalecer mi confianza en contra del Bullying


¿Quién es esta mujer al otro lado del espejo?  Eso es lo que me preguntaba mientras miraba mi cara en el baño de mi casa. Parecía que miraba a los ojos de mi mama. Con su mirada penetrante mirándome desde el otro lado del espejo.  En ese mismo instante sentí como envejecí de repente.  No había notado cuántos años habían pasado desde la última vez que me había mirado con tanto detalle en un espejo.  Mis ojos no estaban arrugados pero alrededor de mis ojos se notan las muchas noches que paso despierta hasta tarde tratando asuntos de adulto. La vida era mucho más simple cuando uno es un niño y simplemente puedes dormir cuando tu mama te dice vete a la cama.  Cuando creces son muchas las cosas que te mantienen despierta.  Ya mis ojos no brillan ni resplandecen. Ahora tengo cuarenta años.
Aunque me pinto el pelo puedes ver alrededor de mi pico de viuda la raíz de muchas canas que mi abuela decía son gracias a la sabiduría y la experiencia y no a los anos. Yo parezco que soy muy sabia. Pues si no me pinto el pelo cada dos semanas me crece casi todo blanco. Me acuerdo cuando era negro. Tan negro que la gente creía que me lo pintaba como el azabache.  Mis senos han crecido mucho y han servido de alimento para dos hijos. Aunque con mucha frustración pues nunca aprendí a lactarlos bien. Por lo menos voy a ser una vieja de senos grandes. Me acuerdo cuando joven compraba sostenes con aumento pues mis senos eran bien pequeños. Mi barriga cargo cinco hijos de los cuales hoy viven dos. Los otros tres murieron a veces lloro mucho pensando como hubiera sido mi vida si ninguno de ellos hubiese muerto. De ellos solo me quedan las estrías. Marcas permanentes en tu cuerpo que te recuerdan que un ser humano vivió dentro de ti por un tiempo. La magia de la vida. Dada por Dios y solo Dios sabe por qué la quita o la da.

Siempre tuve piernas fuertes pero nunca me gusto correr.  Aun cuando estaba en el ejército.  Detestaba correr.  Tengo piernas como las de mi abuela. Fuertes y el trasero grande. Estas piernas han caminado por tantos lugares, por desiertos como los de Iraq, Qatar, Kuwait, Paraguay y la isla de Puerto Rico o a donde quiera que enviaran a mi esposo o a mí mientras fuéramos servicio activo.  Mis pies que casi siempre están hinchados y adoloridos no son los más hermosos del mundo.  Son los pies de un ex soldado que trabajaba 12 o 16 horas en botas militares.  Que dormía en botas militares. Que comía y vivía en botas militares.  Mi espalda ha sufrido mucho luego de sufrir una lesión en la espalda trabaje muchos años más en servicio activo y fui al desierto también. Lo cual afectó mi espalda mucho más de lo que estaba.  Hoy en día me miro al espejo desnuda y veo a una mujer 50 libras más gorda de lo que yo era cuando tenía veinte años.  Cincuenta libras en veinte años. A mis cuarenta años peso 180 libras.  Hoy me vi al espejo y llore.  Mi belleza se ha desvanecido.


Cuando yo tenía 16 años estudie modelaje en la academia D’rose en Santurce, PR. A los 17 años comencé mi bachillerato en comunicaciones en Sagrado Corazón en Santurce y estudié Fotografía. En el 2003 entre a la Fuerza Aérea en servicios médicos y en el 2005 al Army en servicios médicos. Hace dos años que me retire del Army.    Si e engordado 50 libras pero también he vivido.  Este es mi cuerpo.  El cuerpo que me dio dos hijos.  El cuerpo que me salvo la vida mientras yo estaba en zona de combate y me trajo a casa.  El cuerpo que me dio las fuerzas para cargar a otras personas a lugares seguros para poder salvarles la vida mientras estaba en la guerra.  El cuerpo que mis hijos llaman madre.  El cuerpo que mi madre llama hija. El cuerpo que mi esposo ve hermoso y ama como su esposa. El cuerpo en donde mi espíritu vive temporeramente hasta que Dios nos llame a morar junto a él. Mientras tanto mi cuerpo tal vez es 50 libras más gordo que antes y la gente puede decir que soy gorda. Pero yo sé que soy saludable y nadie tiene el derecho a tratar de hacerme entender que estoy enferma o estoy mal simplemente porque mi cuerpo no tiene las medidas y no cumple las expectativas que la sociedad espera. Mientras yo sea saludable y me sienta cómoda en este cuerpo quien tiene un problema es la sociedad.  Que está acostumbrada a ver imágenes de mujeres extremadamente delgadas y pensar que eso es normal.  Si le enseñamos a las mujeres que todas tenemos derecho a ser de diferentes tamaños y lo que importa es que seas saludables habrían menos jóvenes cometiendo suicidios gracias al bullying.



Saturday, August 2, 2014

Understanding size zero will make you stop the body shame



Zero size models are a huge controversy these days.  When the size zero was introduced to the market, it wasn't intended for a six foot tall woman. It was originally intended for the large number of petite size women who didn't want to shop for clothes in a kid store.  Size Zero bust size is 31.5 inches (80 cm), waist 23 inches (60 cm) and hips 34 inches (86 cm).  To put this into perspective, the average waist size of a healthy eight-year-old is 22 inches (56 cm) and an eight year old child is about four feet tall.  So we are taking about grown up women who are almost six feet tall with the waist size of an eight year old child.  The minimum height for a Top model is 5'7.  If people don’t start recognizing that there is a huge problem and that is unnatural, then our society is wrong.  On top of that, sometimes photographers will crop down the models waist line because the models are so thin they barely have hips and they have a straight line between their waist and hips.  Unless the model bends to the side, then she can create the fake appearance of having some hips.


Girls will follow fashion standards that are dangerous and unhealthy, like the thigh gap, which is when a woman is so skinny she has a gap between her thighs.  Those skinny models who walk flamboyantly on a catwalk with a huge thigh gap don't just have a gap between their legs, they also have thighs with the circumference of their calf.  This is something you only see in underweight adolescents who haven't gone through their puberty.  So what kind of message are we sending with these images?  When we pretend that grown up women should look like this. Based on the National Association of Anorexia Nervosa and Associated Disorders, Almost 50% of people with eating disorders meet the criteria for depression. 20% of people suffering from anorexia will prematurely die from complications related to their eating disorder, including suicide and heart problems.



Former Vogue editor Kirstie Clements Wrote an amazing book that introduced us to the inside world of the fashion industry, The Vogue Factor.  In every page of this book, you will live her experiences as an editor of the fashion magazine Vogue and learn how horrible the fashion industry can be.  Something must be done.  There is a lot of secrecy behind their closed doors.  Behind the beauty of these girls, there is a lot of pain.  It is terrible that no one talks about it.  This is a book every teen girl and every woman should read.  Is it worth it to hate my body thinking that these models on the catwalk are the image of perfection?  Once you read this book, your eyes will be open.  This is an interview the author published about her book and once I read The vogue factor, I realized I have to read more, so I bought the book right away.

The longer I worked with models, the more the food deprivation became obvious. Cigarettes and Diet Coke were dietary staples. Sometimes you would see the tell-tale signs of anorexia, where a girl develops a light fuzz on her face and arms as her body struggles to stay warm. I have never, in all my career, heard a model say "I'm hot", not even if you wrapped her in fur and put her in the middle of the desert.A few years later we booked another Russian girl, who was also starving herself, on a trip to Marrakech. When the team went out to dinner at night she ordered nothing, but then hunger would get the better of her and she would pick small pieces of food off other people's plates. I've seen it happen on many trips. The models somehow rationalize that if they didn't order anything, then they didn't really take in the calories. They can tell their booker at the agency before they sleep that they only had a salad. By the end of the trip, she didn't have the energy to even sit up; she could barely open her eyes. We actually had her lie down next to a fountain to get the last shot.In 2004, a fashion season in which the girls were expected to be particularly bone-thin, I was having lunch in New York with a top agent who confidentially expressed her concern to me, as she did not want to be the one to expose the conspiracy. "It's getting very serious," she said. She lowered her tone and glanced around to see if anyone at the nearby tables could hear. "The top casting directors are demanding that they be thinner and thinner. I've got four girls in hospital. And a couple of the others have resorted to eating tissues. Apparently they swell up and fill your stomach."I was horrified to hear what the industry was covering up and I felt complicit. We were all complicit. But in my experience it is practically impossible to get a photographer or a fashion editor – male or female – to acknowledge the repercussions of using very thin girls. They don't want to. For them, it's all about the drama of the photograph. They convince themselves that the girls are just genetically blessed, or have achieved it through energetic bouts of yoga and eating goji berries.

If you want to buy her book, click here.


This is something we shouldn't doubt about the life of the models.  There are so many models who have opened themselves up and spoke out about what they live as top models.  Top model Jennifer Sky also wrote a book telling her story in Queen of the Tokyo Ballroom.  She was a minor when she start modeling and she got a contract to go to Japan.  Once she 54ft4wwent to Japan, life for her changed drastically.  For an American girl living in a foreign country where she didn’t speak the language and the American laws didn't apply… the situation pretty much looked like human trafficking.  The modeling agencies look at models like independent contractors so models are not actually employees for the modeling agency, they are independent.  That is why they don’t have marginal benefits like health insurance and others things. For a child abroad, this is a situation that is very difficult to understand and to manage on their own. They are also not mature enough to defend themselves from the situations they can get into.  Typically, modeling agencies will contract a girl at age thirteen.  This book will get you into the heart of the secret world of the modeling industry.

Countless questionable things happened to me during my time as a model. From neglect to molestation to topless photo shoots to men exposing themselves to being made to stand in a freezing pool until I turned blue, I would be abused for the entirety of my career. Eventually, the highs of the photo shoots began to dull. I started to show signs that things weren't right; feeling disconnected, hollow, having nightmares. My naturally outgoing personality changed: I became withdrawn and startled easily. It became hard for me to travel new routes, to eat at new restaurants, or even shop at the corner store. I became so timid I no longer spoke. I eventually did not leave my room unless I had a job or a casting.
I was sent abroad and I was put in very inappropriate situations. I was sent to Mexico, I was drugged, and I was made to do a topless shoot. They remove you from the United States because here, we're protected. Abroad, we're unchaperoned, we're alone, we don't speak the language, and we can't advocate for ourselves. The modeling industry should be treated with the same laws and contempt as the human trafficking industry. When your body is a commodity, where’s the line?


 Jennifer Sky is working right now requesting a petition to the government to protect minors in the fashion industry so they don't have to experience the same situations she did when she was a top model.  Her book is amazing. You can sign her petition here and help support this cause.  To read more about her movement, you can see our blog -The downside of children in the fashion industry and what you can do to protect them.
If an animal showed one of these signs or symptoms we would consider them malnourished or starved and produce indignation all around the world.
  • bones of the shoulders, ribs, back-bone and hips protrude
  • sunken eyes
  • tucked up abdomens
  • muscle mass and organs may be shrunken or decreased in size
Why is it a fashion statement in humans?




There is no difference between the body shape of a Top model and a Starving third world country person.  Why we keep promoting these ridiculous standards?  Patronizing fashion designers who have no intention to change their old fashioned standards and making us all feel ugly with the only intention to make their fashion lines an exclusive unattainable item so they can over price their designs.  To get in on this exclusiveness, you must obey their eccentricities. This is nothing but ridiculous standards of beauty.  They mock women, patronizing them with their ideas of beauty, using models who do not represent real women.  Paying millions of dollars to get exclusivity on the covers of magazines to make girls believe that those starving photoshopped girls are the standard of beauty. To achieve those standards, women all over the world learn to hate their bodies get expensive surgery, go to the gym, drink pills, eat the goji berry, use the magic cream, buy the fantastic band, smell like me, pose with that candy and throw it away…..live a fake life and hate your body because in the end, no one knows the secret life behind the fashion industry is that the size zero model doesn't even look like her true self after she is photoshopped.
In the UK, there is an agency that is cutting short these advertisers.  They just started recently, and it looks like the days of advertisements with misleading messages and anorexic girls are going to be in the past.  There is a still a lot to do, but there are many other countries who are joining in this idea, maybe the U.S. should do the same.  The Advertising Standards Authority is the UK’s independent regulator of advertising across all media.  They apply the Advertising Codes, which are written by the Committees of Advertising Practice. Their work includes acting on complaints and proactively checking the media to take action against misleading, harmful or offensive advertisements. Consumers can go online and make a complaint if they see an advertisement that promotes something that is misleading or contains material which is offensive. You can alert them if any of the models look anorexic, unhealthy or excessively photoshopped or if there is a minor posing like an adult. This is an awesome movement to promote a realistic beauty standard.
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When plastic surgery and Laser is not an option to erase scars




 A few years ago, my younger sister had a motorcycle accident that caused her permanent injuries to her face and body.  It was a very traumatic time for my family because she was very young and very beautiful. At the time, we did not know if she would live and how she would react when she realized she had so many injuries. A partially amputated arm, a dislocated knee, multiple broken ribs, multiple broken vertebrae, a broken jaw, broken jugular vein, along with multiple other wounds. She was in physical therapy for a long period of time. Plastic surgery or Laser therapy was not an option for a poor family like ours.  One day, she surprised us all by displaying herself to the whole family, all dressed up with Makeup.  What was amazing is that her makeup was special and you could not see any of her scars.  I remained speechless because it looked like she never even had the accident, you couldn't see any scars at all!  She had bought a professional makeup called Dermablend, Super easy to use.  The colors are very natural, the loose powder conforms to your skin color it also comes in translucent color. If you have dark circles under the eyes, they also have an eye corrector.  It's amazing to go out and let people see you without them seeing your scars and having to explain to every person who stares at you what happened.  What she went through at the time of the crash was much deeper than the physical appearance.  She was able to overcome her personal struggle between life and death.  It is hard to be in a hospital at such a young age and in the midst of an unpredictable diagnosis to hear the voice of God.  Today, my sister is disabled from her accident, but her disability does not define her.  She gets up every day cover her wounds and gives a smile to the world like a normal person. No one notice what she went through. There is hundreds of people with birth marks, burn marks, surgery scars, vitiligo and other skin problems that cause them to feel uncomfortable with the appearance of their skin.  Dermablend is being helping to cover those skin imperfections. My sister beauty as a human being is bigger than the scars on her body.  Life took away things from a physical aspect, but gave her a lot of strength to live.  I thank God because I have my sister with me for many more years to come. She is an excellent woman and my best friend, she is my sister Ivette.





Dermablend has been in our family  ever since that day. I  use it even though I have no scars on my face, but I do have very dark circles under my eyes.  Another benefit of Dermablend is NO RETOUCH!  It does not leave a sweaty, shiny, glossy look on your face, no matter what situation or environment you're in.  If you don't believe me believe me, this is a picture of me in the desert in the middle of Iraq. What?! Yes, it was in regulation.  I can imagine the load of comments on this blog... but Divas will be Divas and Haters will be Haters, no matter what.  I woke up in the morning, took a shower and put my Dermablend with the translucent powder, chap-stick and went to work.  It didn't take me 2 minutes to do it.  This kind of make up will resist rain, sand storms, sweat, extreme heat (I went to Iraq, Qatar, Kuwait for a year and half) and you can run a marathon if you want with this on and it will  not fade.  The is a downside to  Dermablend and I'm going to pause here so you can pay attention to this because it is important.  This product is amazing, the same way I say it is amazing because it lasts a long time on your face without needing to be retouched and it wont come off.  When something doesn't come off by itself, you have to wash it off really good.  EVERY DAY!!  I have used this product almost daily for more than 13 years, and the only time I had a break out was the first time I used it and didn't know how to properly wash it off.  Once I learned, I never had this problem again.  If I'm not going anywhere, I don't wear it.  I use my cleansing products, and I scrub my face regularly.


For the last 30 years Dermablend have been described as the best product by the medical community and professional makeup artists for its high performance wear and coverage. Dermablend also has some products specialized for the body if you are interested in their products, click here to check them out.  Here are some other videos that are awesome to get some more information.  They allow you to see on camera how these products work and that I'm not exaggerating when I say they  change people's life.


Cheri's Camo



Dermablend Tattoo Cover




Aquamarina y negro para el verano


Esta combinación se ve preciosa.  Viene en tamaños grandes para las chicas con caderas anchas. Esta inspirado en el verano y los colores del mar.   La falda y la camisa son de la tienda Eloquii. Ellos se especializan en ropa para mujer en tallas grandes.  La ropa que ellos tienen es bellisima. Que tal esta combinacion? 




El detalle de la falda ayuda a disimular un poco las pompis que son muy grandes. Le da un vuelo juvenil además de que los colores son preciosos. Si te interesa esta ver la falda en la página oficial de Eloquii Presiona Aquí.



La camisa es muy veraniega el encaje en que está construida le da un aire delicado y femenino. Si quieres ver la camisa en la página oficial de Eloqui Presiona Aqui. 




Los aretes de esta combinación son preciosos pueden usarse en cualquier ocasión.  Son muy femeninos y joviales. Son de la tienda In Pink los accesorios de esta tienda son fantásticos. Son económicos y a la moda. Puedes encontrar los accesorios que ves a los famosos usando en los magazines por muchísimo menos dinero de lo que te cobrarian en otro lugar.




Mira la sortija en color coral que ellos tienen y es ajustable! Preciosa. Tienen toda una colección bella de sortijas ajustables como esta. Quisieras comprarlas todas. Para ver los productos de la tienda In Pink Presiona Aqui



Esta cartera es preciosa marca Gucci original de venta en la tienda Bella Bag. Esta tienda se especializa en la compra y venta de carteras de marca de diseñadores usadas. Si usted tiene una cartera original de diseñador y quiere venderla ellos se la compran. La misma tiene que estar en buenas condiciones y tener toda la documentación de la misma.  Numero de serie o información que identifique la cartera como una original. Al mismo tiempo usted puede ir a esta pagina y comprar carteras originales de diseñadores ligeramente usadas a bajo costo.  ¿No le parece fantastico? Si quiere ver la página y leer más información acerca de esta tienda Presiona Aqui.


Estas sandalias hermosas son de la tienda Chinese Laundry.  Ellos se especializan en hacer zapatos de alta calidad.  Los zapatos de esta tienda son bellos y la calidad muy buena. Los precios varian.  Este modelo es precioso especialmente para el verano cuando queremos lucir nuestras hermosas piernas y pedicuras con colores brillantes que tan a la moda estan.  Si quieres ver todos los modelos que han llegado a esta tienda Presiona Aqui. Un secreto acerca de esta tienda es que tienes que estar muy pendiente pues ellos hacen muchas ofertas. Es muy bueno que te hagas miembro pues dependiendo de la temporada hacen promociones con diferentes porciento de descuentos y envios gratis a los Estados Unidos. Si eres miembro de su página puedes aprovechar las ofertas y comprar zapatos a bajisimos precios.